I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
