I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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