Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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