i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
