the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
