His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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