her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
