Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
