She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
