Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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