i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
