I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
