all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
MIDGETS
????
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
