Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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