Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
