I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
