My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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