we have officially lost it.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
