This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
