I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
