dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
