i just identified you from a description of your pipe
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
