i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
