I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
