When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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