dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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