hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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