Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
