how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
