i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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