I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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