dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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