I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
