Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we're making bets on your personal life
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't deserve a penis
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
