My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Barsexuality is the new black.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just invented taco cereal.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
