We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
