Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
A+ Viking dick
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
