Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
