I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Fuck appropriateness.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
