He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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