I love watching others lives come down to our level.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
