Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
