Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
