So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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