i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
