Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
did i walk over a car last night?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
