the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
