i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
handjob tips. give me some.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
