My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I had to cum in my sink.
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