i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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