ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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