I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
