My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
