So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
